The Small Blue Planet
by Scarf Warriors
Summary: Classicwho!  The Doctor and Jo arrive on a small blue planet after a problem with the TARDIS.  Crossover with the Clangers, NOW COMPLETE!
1. Welcome to the Small Blue Planet

Mork is totally mad. So, he made this!

There certainly isn't enough Doctor Who stuff with 3 + Jo in it, and even less with the C- oh yes, it's a suprise!

* * *

**The Small Blue Planet**

The Doctor was humming to himself as he wandered about activating various controls. Sometimes Jo just thought that he just felt like playing with them, simply because no matter what he did they always ended up in some random destination, which never seemed to be Metebelis 3.  
"Where are going to this time Doctor?" she enquired as the Doctor bent down to study some dial or other. The Doctor glanced over at the brown mini-dress wearing figure and tutted.  
"Come now Jo, Metebelis 3 of course!" he said, straightening his green velvet clad figure. They stood in silence, until the Doctor spoke.  
"Well? Are you not going to ask why some red light is flashing or siren sounding or whatnot?" the Doctor asked, the irony clear in his voice, and Jo laughed. Then, predictably, a red light began flashing.  
"Yes!" Jo replied, pointing to the light, which was situated on the panel nearest to the doors.  
"Oh no," the Doctor moaned as he stepped over and leant on the console. He sighed rather loudly.  
"What is it now?"  
"Well Jo, the matter appears to be of an origin currently unknown which the TARDIS is not giving me the slightest indication of."  
"What?"  
"In simpler terms, I haven't the faintest idea." Jo rolled her eyes, before the TARDIS landed with a severe bump, throwing the pair to the floor. "Good grief!" the Doctor exclaimed as he pulled himself up. Jo took the Doctor's hand and he pulled her up. The Doctor sauntered over to the scanner controls and operated them.  
"Where are we?" Jo enquired, looking at the image of a small blue planet.

Meanwhile, outside a group of pink-waist-high-anteater-like aliens popped out of a hole and onto the planet's surface.  
"Oh sod it! Something's landed on the darned hole!" said the most senior and important looking.  
"How are we supposed to get the soup?" complained a female. Underneath a growling voice could be heard.  
"What's this in my way? Oi! Gerrof! Gerrof!"  
"We must help the Soup Dragon!" a tiny alien cried out, and ran over to the large blue obstruction and began to push. The other seven or thereabouts joined too, and pushed with all their might, but to no avail.

In the TARDIS, the Doctor was surveying the instruments.  
"Well, all readings say slightly lower gravity, with little or no atmosphere. We had better put on oxygen masks," he said, before handing Jo a mask and picking one up for himself . He opened the doors, and as soon as the pair stepped ouside, they were confronted by a group of the aliens. Immediately the large alien dashed forward and began to slap the Doctor about the knee.  
"Sod off! Sod off!" he shouted, while Jo looked on with a look of either shock, fright, or befuddlement, or all three.  
"Great balls of fire!" the Doctor exclaimed. The pink aliens stared up at the sky before diving into holes and replacing their dustbin lids.  
"Well that seems to have done the trick!" the Doctor said to Jo while giving a sigh of relief. They disappeared into the TARDIS and prepared to leave.  
"The TARDIS appears to be stuck!" the Doctor exclaimed, though he really shouldn't, it's not like the TARDIS isn't always stuck now, is it?  
"Oh no!" exclaimed Jo's shoulder . Hang on, Jo's shoulder!?  
On Jo's shoulder was the tiny alien! Jo screamed and began to err, well, scream.  
"You must move it! What will the Soup Dragon do?!" the tiny alien whistled. The Doctor just stared at it in mild bemusement. Finally he regained his composure and spoke to the tiny alien.  
"Who are you, what is the Soup Dragon, and what are you doing on my ship?" the Doctor demanded, in not a very nice tone at all. The poor lickle tiny alien began to cry. Jo, being nicer than the Doctor by quite a lot, lifted the tiny alien off her shoulder and began to cuddle it.  
"It's alright, never mind that green monstrosity, talk to me instead!" Jo said softly, and the tiny alien cheered up, while the Doctor huffed.  
"My name is Tiny Clanger!" Tiny Clanger said, and crawled out of Jo's arms and sat on the console. "Your spaceship is covering the entrance to the soup wells! Without soup, we will have nothing to eat except Blue String Pudding! And the Soup Dragon is stuck! She makes the soup for us!"

"Oh no! What shall we do, Doctor!" Jo said to him.  
"Well, we first must find out why the TARDIS cannot move, as per usual, so we can free the Soup Dragon, and let Tiny Clanger here eat," the Doctor said, running a hand through his poofy white hair. He stepped out of the still open TARDIS doors, and was immediately confronted by Major Clanger.  
"Sod off! Sod off!" he shouted, trying the Doctor's patience, but luckily the good ol' Tiny Clanger appeared and sorted out the problem by explaining to Major Clanger that it was not the Doctor's fault that the Soup Wells were blocked and that Jo was rather nice, so he should speak to her. Major Clanger waddled over to Jo, climbed up her leg and stood on her shoulder. He bent down so he could speak into her ear.  
"The Clangers are hungry! What shall we do if we cannot reach the Soup?" he said quietly.  
"The TARDIS will probably have food supplies, and maybe we can dig through to the Soup Dragon to let her out!" Jo replied, hoping both answers were possible.  
"What? Give out my precious food supplies to a bunch of pink mice! Not on your-" the Doctor was cut off as Major Clanger called out to the others.  
"Quick! There's food in this blue box!" With that, the other Clangers flooded in, and began to tear the place apart, searching for the food.  
"No! No, don't touch that! That's the light-" Everything went black. "-switch!" Then, the Clangers tore off down a corridor when Small Clanger finally found the food supplies. They picked up as much as they could carry and tore back to the Console Room. In there, the adorable liddle Tiny Clanger had succeeded in turning the lights back on. The Clangers then ran riot, and the Doctor had to herd them out of his TARDIS by threatening them with a mop, much to Jo's distaste. The others went off down their holes, taking one third Doctor's precious food with them.  
"Oh botheration!" the Third shouted, before turning to the only remaining Clangers, Tiny and Major. "I assume that is the last we're going to see of my food!" Major Clanger just shrugged, but the compassionate Tiny came up with something much more important.  
"What about the Soup Dragon? She's stuck down there!" Tiny exclaimed, and simply because it was Tiny who said it, no-one had the heart to refuse. As if in a trance, the Doctor, Jo and Major Clanger collected spades and began to dig. Tiny called out to the Soup Dragon.  
"Stay away! Or the rocks may hit you!" Tiny called, and the Soup Dragon aknowledged this with a Soup-Dragon-Like roar. Like those possessed, the Doctor, Jo and Major Clanger dug into the solid rock, and Tiny Clanger turned away.  
"No, I must stop- No! They must not stop- No they must!" Tiny Clanger fell on the floor and began to scream silently. "I must fight, I ... must ... fight ... but ... can't. You are the Master, and I will obey you! For you are the Master and I will obey you! What was that? Stop repeating myself, it's not helping matters? Okay then!" With that, Tiny Clanger fainted.

* * *

Whatever will happen to poor Tiny Clanger!? Find out next time? What, you mean there's more?! No way! Yes indeed! Why am I talking to myself? I have absolutely no idea! Oh, good use of the immortal catchphrase, there, top marks! Thank me very much! I think I should stop now. I agree. 


	2. Master Soup

What will happen to Tiny Clanger!? Mork of course, this is being written late at night, likely to be spelling + grammar mistakes.

* * *

"Stay away! Or the rocks may hit you!" Tiny called, and the Soup Dragon aknowledged this with a Soup-Dragon-Like roar. Like those possessed, the Doctor, Jo and Major Clanger dug into the solid rock, and Tiny Clanger turned away.  
"No, I must stop- No! They must not stop- No they must!" Tiny Clanger fell on the floor and began to scream silently. "I must fight, I ... must ... fight ... but ... can't. You are the Master, and I will obey you! For you are the Master and I will obey you! What was that? Stop repeating myself, it's not helping matters? Okay then!" With that, Tiny Clanger fainted.

* * *

The villain in this dastardly plot of horror, the Master, sat on a rather fetching deckchair he had deviously pinched and looking at something unexplained. He did this a lot, most noticably during Survival, where he seemed to just be able to talk to cats on a totally different planet. Ain't he clever? He must have picked that little trick up here, for this is before he took over the body of Tremas. This time the Master was talking to Tiny Clanger, and watched as his poor little minion made the Doctor, Jo, and Major Clanger do hard menial labour.

* * *

The Doctor was just digging his shovel into the rock when Tiny Clanger's control over him ceased with Tiny's faint. He fell over in exhaustion, and Jo and Major Clanger had to carry him into the TARDIS. When inside they deposited him onto a bedchair Jo had hunted down, while Major Clanger fed him leftover soup from the previous dinner, and blue string pudding, neither of which were to the Doctor's tastes, the soup was cold and the blue string pudding well, string.  
"What's wrong with the Doctor?!" Jo questioned the Major, but before he could reply, Tiny Clanger crawled into the TARDIS, in a bad emotional state.  
"Tiny Clanger!" they exclaimed in unison, and Jo ran over and picked Tiny up. Finding no suitable warm place for Tiny to recover, Major Clanger came up with the astounding idea of stuffing Tiny into the Doctor's pocket. Then he left the TARDIS and called a meeting of all the Clangers.  
"We must continue to help the Soup Dragon!" he announced, and began to distribute spades, shovels, and pickaxes, then grabbed something that Jo handed him. He looked at her questioningly.  
"It's a pneumatic drill," Jo explained, and turned it on. The noise caused the Clanger's to dive for cover, and also woke up the two sleepers. The Doctor staggered out, while Tiny Clanger hitched a ride. The Clangers ventured out, to see Major Clanger riding upon the drill, clinging on for dear life, and sinking deeper and deeper into the rock. The Soup Dragon could be heard yelling out, as Major Clanger disappeared down into the wells with a yelp. The Soup Dragon jumped out with Major Clanger, still clutching his new toy, clinging onto her tail. Major Clanger stood up, and straightened his armour. Small Clanger bent over to pick up the drill.  
"Sod off! Sod off!" the Major yelled at Small, and snatched the drill, promptly turned in on and jumped on.  
"WEEHEEHEE!" Major Clanger whooped, not caring that he was sinking deeper into the planet. Despite him not being over the soup wells, his disappeared into the hole. They heard a gasp, a yelp, a curse, another gasp, then a "Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters!", and finally a "SOD OFF"  
"The Master!" the Doctor exclaimed, and dashed to the hole.  
"The Master?"  
"The Master! It must-"  
"Stop repeating yourself, its- OUCH!" The Doctor peered down the hole to see Major Clanging swinging the drill at the Master's head.  
"So, Master. I knew you were involved in this!" the Doctor said, before pulling the pair out.  
"How did you know I was involved?" the Master inquired, confused. Well you would be confused if an alien made out of wool was swinging a drill at you.  
"Well, you're involved in everything!" the Doctor explained. "But why here? What could you possible have against these Clangers?"  
"Nothing, I think they're a rather interesting extraterrestrial lifeform, but I'm more interested in- No, why should I always tell you everything?" With that, the Master released the sleepy gassy stuff he had in his pocket, knocking everyone out stone cold. After noting the colour of Jo's knickers (he kept a diary of this, he needs a secondary hobby, the first always fails) he tied them all, yes all, to the music trees. He went across and opened one of the dustbin lids, which was in fact his TARDIS, and pulled out a long hose pipe. He dived down into the soup wells (the tiny clanger hypnosis thing is revealed!) and began to suck up the soup. The Soup Dragan came to, and struggled against her bonds while yelling in anger at the Master.  
"Oi! That's my soup! Sod off! Sod off!" As usual, the Master had made one mistake. He had not tied up Tiny Clanger, who was still in the Doctor's pocket! So, heroic little Tiny Clanger untied everyone, who, as silently as Humanly, Time Lordly and Clangerly possible, sneaked across to the soup wells, dropped down and pounced on the Master.  
"Whoop! Argh!"  
"Aha! I have stopped you, the Master!" Tiny revealed.  
"Well, I don't know what to say!" the Master said, still smiling in that annoying way he does when he gets found out.  
"How about, 'Curses, foiled again!'?" Jo suggested.  
"Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters!" the Master automatically said.  
"The soup wells, they're empty!" the Soup Dragon exclaimed.

* * *

Oh noes! The Soup is gone! And why on earth does the Master want the soup?!? Even I don't know yet, I'm making this up as I go along. 


	3. A Repeating Predicament

It's a bit shorter than what I planned, but it seemed like a good place to break the story.

* * *

So, heroic little Tiny Clanger untied everyone, who, as silently as Humanly, Time Lordly and Clangerly possible, sneaked across to the soup wells, dropped down and pounced on the Master.  
"Whoop! Argh!"  
"Aha! I have stopped you, the Master!" Tiny revealed.  
"Well, I don't know what to say!" the Master said, still smiling in that annoying way he does when he gets found out.  
"How about, 'Curses, foiled again!'?" Jo suggested.  
"Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters!" the Master automatically said.  
"The soup wells, they're empty!" the Soup Dragon exclaimed.  
"Aha!" the Master exclaimed, and jumped out of the hole, dragging to hosepipe behind him, which fortunately caught round his ankles and tripped him up. The Clangers all ran over and stood on him, preventing him from escaping.  
"So then Master, what do you plan to do with all this soup?" the Doctor demanded in not a very nice tone at all, but since the Master is not tiny and cute, he did not begin to cry.  
"You know of the Sontaran/Rutan war, Doctor? Of course you do. But the Sontaran war fleet is running out of fuel, and I shall collect this soup, which has the same properties as the fuel, and sell it to the Sontaran leaders at an inflated price!" he explained, despite him saying he would not explain anything earlier. With that, he grabbed his Tissue Compression Eliminator, and proceded to fire it at one of the Clangers on top of him. One poor unfortunate Clanger was hit, and tinyfied. So what if that isn't a word? Shoot me then.  
"NOOOOOO!" yelled Major Clanger, and the Master found himself in a dire predicament, mainly a sore throat.  
"SOD OFF! SOD OFF! SOD OFF! SOD OFF!" the Major shouted constantly, while the Master began to smoke, purely because he found himself unable to stop talking.  
"Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters! Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters! Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters! Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters! Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters!"  
"Quick, let's get out of here!" Jo yelled to the Doctor over the cacophony. They, and the rest of the Clangers, ran into the Master's TARDIS and proceeded to set the vacuum cleaner to blow, so the soup was forced back into the soup wells. The Clangers let out a resounding cheer, and the Soup Dragon ran back into the wells and made sure all the soup was there. Major Clanger dashed into the Master's TARDIS to see what was happening.  
"What's happening?" he asked. The others looked at him in horror.  
"You're not saying 'Sod off' anymore!" the Doctor said horrified. "The Master!" With that, they all dashed outside, except Tiny Clanger who was playing with the console, to see the Master pointing his Tissue Compression Eliminator at them all.

"I think you had better let me in," the Master said, motioning them out of the way with the TCE. They obeyed without question. The Master went in, turned the vacuum back on to suck, and the soup began to re-enter the TARDIS. The Soup Dragon let out a cry of alarm, and dashed out of the wells. The Master emerged, and began to speak to the Doctor, but before any sound was made, he was interupted by Tiny Clanger, who was yelling from inside the TARDIS.  
"The Soup! The Soup! The Soup!" This was the final straw for the Master.  
"STOP REPEATING YOURSELF, IT'S NOT HELPING MATTERS! ARGH!" The Master began to melt, but he dashed into his TARDIS, shoving Jo out of the way, and turning off the vacuum cleaner. The TARDIS began to dematerialise, with half of the Clanger's soup still aboard.  
"NEVER!" the Doctor shouted, but it was too late, the Master had gone, taking Tiny Clanger with him.

* * *

NVERE! So, what will happen to Tiny Clanger? Who knows...? Well me of course, but oh well.


	4. The Plot And The Soup Thicken

The penultimate chapter!

* * *

"The Soup! The Soup! The Soup!" This was the final straw for the Master.  
"STOP REPEATING YOURSELF, IT'S NOT HELPING MATTERS! ARGH!" The Master began to melt, but he dashed into his TARDIS, shoving Jo out of the way, and turning off the vacuum cleaner. The TARDIS began to dematerialise, with half of the Clanger's soup still aboard.  
"NEVER!" the Doctor shouted, but it was too late, the Master had gone, taking Tiny Clanger with him.

* * *

It was a while later, and the Clangers were all sitting together, silent in their grief. One of them was dead, and another taken away to who knows where with an evil criminal genius.  
"Can we not track them in the TARDIS?" Jo asked for the umpteenth time, and the Doctor looked pained as he replied.  
"No, the TARDIS cannot move, remember?" Major Clanger ventured a suggestion.  
"If your craft cannot move, then how did the Master's one sod off?" The Doctor tried to think of an explaination.  
"Well, it's a simple case of, his TARDIS is more sophisticated than mine, but that does mean, well-" The Doctor sat up suddenly. "HE CAN'T! He can't leave!" He can't!"  
"Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters!"  
"Aha! Proof!" the Doctor exclaimed, while the others just looked blank.

"How is that possible? We saw him sod off!" Major Clanger demanded, rising to his feet.  
"Well, TARDISes have a capability to make them appear invisible, I used it myself in my previous self-"  
"What you mean that short guy in the baggy trousers?"  
"Yes Jo, but please don't interrupt! I was travelling with Jamie and Zoe, and we had landed in the middle of a Cyberman invasion, and we had to search around for the TARDIS as I had repaired the circuit which gives the TARDIS that capability. The Master must have used his as his TARDIS is stuck too!" Having listened to his explaination, the Clangers, The Doctor, and The Jo, rose and dashed to where the TARDIS was last seen. The Doctor picked up a rock, and proceeded to throw it at where the TARDIS was. It seemed the bounce off the air, and hit the ground with a clang.

"Right, now we have to find the door!" the Doctor said, and began to walk like a zombie, arms out before him, feeling around for the doors. The others followed suit, and it was Small Clanger who eventually found them. They flooded in, and apprehended the Master as he was about to eat a sandwich.

"Curses! Foiled again!" the Master said, and grabbed his TCE, but Major Clanger was quick enough to knock it out of his hands. Tiny Clanger whimpered, and they all turned to find Tiny tied to a chair by a thick rope. Jo ran across and freed Tiny, who immediately jumped up and began to bash the Master with a Perpetual Electromagnetic Pulse Generator.

"NOO!" the Master screamed as the device shattered, and the Doctor gave a gasp as full power suddenly returned to the TARDIS.  
"NEVER!" the Doctor exclaimed, and dragged them all out of the TARDIS.  
"Stop repeating your-" The Master became senseless, owing to a swift smack about the head by a PEPG wielding Tiny Clanger.  
"What happened?!" Jo asked as they emerged from the invisible TARDIS.  
"The device Tiny was using to bash the Master about the head with was a Perpetual Electromagnetic Pulse Generator, which creates an electromagnetic pulse large enough to stop electronic equipment functioning. When the device was destroyed, the pulse stopped, so electronic equipment began to work again. This means the Master can now leave in his TARDIS!"  
"But why would the Master want to stop his TARDIS working?" Small Clanger enquired.  
"Well, it was more than likely a case of keeping ME here, rather than him. I think that as he was melting, he forgot to turn the device off, so he could not leave." As he finished speaking, the sound of the TARDIS leaving filled the, well there isn't any air, so I'll have to say vacuum, and they turned around.  
"Oh dear," Jo said, and they all turned to look at her. "We forgot Tiny again!"

* * *

Inside the Doctor's TARDIS, the Clangers were preparing to leave their Small Blue Planet, and take to the time vortex to find the Master, but more importantly Tiny Clanger and their soup. They strapped on extra armour, and called the Soup Dragon, the Baby Soup Dragon, Froglets and the Iron Chicken to help. The Doctor looked on in despair as his TARDIS was crowded out by Pink mice, two Dragons, Orange blobs and a squawking metal chicken, and of course, Jo and he. Sighing, he set the course to follow the Master. The TARDIS materiallised in a spaceship, and green blobs immediately surrounded it, tentacles whipping out, wreathed in glowing electricity...

* * *

So, they find themselves where they were before, Tiny Clangerless, but now surrounded by electrical green blobs. Oh dear. 


	5. The Soups Gone, the Story too

AND HERE IT IS! THE MOMENT ABOUT 3 OF YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR! THE END OF THE SMALL BLUE PLANET IS NIGH!! Aaaw.

* * *

Inside the Doctor's TARDIS, the Clangers were preparing to leave their Small Blue Planet, and take to the time vortex to find the Master, but more importantly Tiny Clanger and their soup. They strapped on extra armour, and called the Soup Dragon, the Baby Soup Dragon, Froglets and the Iron Chicken to help. The Doctor looked on in despair as his TARDIS was crowded out by Pink mice, two Dragons, Orange blobs and a squawking metal chicken, and of course, Jo and he. Sighing, he set the course to follow the Master. The TARDIS materiallised in a spaceship, and green blobs immediately surrounded it, tentacles whipping out, wreathed in glowing electricity...

* * *

Inside the TARDIS, Jo was fighting for breath, she was literally being smothered by the large mass of wooly bodies piled on top of her. Yes, Jo had founds the Doctor's sheep field, tucked away behind the swimming pool.  
While the Doctor rounded up the sheep with a handy sheepclanger, the others turned on the scanner and watched as the Rutans, for that is what they are for those of you who are total idiotic moronic idiotic morons. The Iron Chicken flew off to find the Doctor, but an unhelpfully placed Doctor meant that it crashed and disintegrated. And still, the Doctor was no-where to be seen. Jo was riding a sheep, which was a bit of a problem on the sheep's part. Jo and the sheep charged into the console room, and began to destroy all humans, which was lucky as there were no Humans. Except Jo. Oh dear.  
Anyway, the sheep failed, and the Doctor released them into the wild. The clangers and co. watched as the sheep were fried by the Rutans, and the Doctor issued wooden shields for all, to protect against the electircal currents for all those numpties out there.  
The Doctor left the TARDIS, and the rest followed suit. Brandishing their equipment, they waited as Small Clanger negotiated to see whether they could work together.

"You will have to strike a deal with us, Doctor!" the spokesrutan declared to the skies, and to the Doctor.  
"Fine, what is it you want, in return for you helping us againt the Master?" the Doctor asked, arms akimbo.  
"We want aluminium, it is rare on Ruta 3, and we need it to build our new weapons," the spokesrutan demanded. The Doctor sighed, but smiled inwardly. He entered the TARDIS, and picked up a rod of aluminium he had lying in some drawers. He left, and presented the Rutans with his rod.  
"Hmm," the Rutans chorused as they felt his rod, before declaring it suitable.  
"I've given you my part, now you must give me your part of the bargain!" the Doctor demanded, and the rutans stuffed the rod somewhere safe and turned to the Doctor.  
"Who is this person you need to capture?"  
"The Master, my best enemy."  
"Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters!" The Master had arrived, and chaos broke out. Tiny Clanger jumped out of the Master's rucksack, and put a giant sock on the Doctor's head. A Sontaran rounded the corner and was immediately fried by the electricity of the Rutans. The ceiling fell in, stopping the Rutans working on the Doctor's rod, and Jo and her sheep ran into the wall, causing the sheep to explode and the Doctor's sock to explode. The Second Doctor ran round the corner and off down the corridor screaming, and then as the sound of a TARDIS faded away, calm was restored to the desperatly morris dancing Rutans.  
"The Master!" declared Major Clanger, who dashed into a bank of computers, which miraculously opened, revealing it to be the Master's TARDIS. The Master gaped, as Major Clanger could be heard running around yelling:  
"SOUP!" Yes, that's right:  
"Soup!" Major Clanger had found the soup, so the Clangers, the Froglets and the Soup Dragons danced around doing the hokey-cokey, and Jo did a paso doble with another sheep.  
Yeehaw. At this point I would to a tango with Calla, but she isn't here, and I am not hopelessly insane.  
So, with the handy-hand-held-horse powered-hand-operated Vacuum cleaner, they sucked the soup back into the Doctor's TARDIS, watched over a screen by several Sontarans...

* * *

"These aliens are removing our fuel supply, Field Marshall!" Lieutenant Styke exclaimed in a Sontaran way, so basically showing no emotion at all.  
"I can see this, Lieutenant!" Field Marshall Phylx shouted at his subordinate. "Rally the troops, they must be stopped, and destroyed!"  
Evil Music.  
"Will someone turn that bloody music off!" Phylx shouted at the ceiling.  
Apologetic Evil Music.  
"Right, that's it!"  
Dying Evil Music.

"?!?!?"

Dead Evil Music.

* * *

"Right, Master, it's time to say goodbye!" The Doctor and his clan of oddities packed away the handy-vacuum-cleaner, and turned to troop into the TARDIS, as the Master dived behind a can of gas and hid.  
They turned straight into the arms of the Sontarans.  
"Aha!" shouted a Sontaran. The others turned on his, and began to pummel him for his unorthodox behaviour, giving the Doctor and his companions a chance to excape.  
"Aha!" the unorthodox Sontaran exclaimed, and before any of the Sontarans could beat him up, the Master jumped out of his hidey-hole.  
"Stop repeating yourself, it's not helping matters! Oh bother!" The Master ran away, hotly pursued by the Sontarans.

* * *

Back on planet Earth, in the year 2007, a disgruntled reader stares at the screen in disbelief.  
"What?! That was an anti-climatic ending!" The Author pokes his vitual head on to the screen.  
"Well, tough. I like anti-climaxes. They make the world go round!" The disgrutled reader punches the Author, before realising that it was in fact the computer screen, and now they need a new monitor.

* * *

Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor was dodging prancing aliens as he tried to operate the controls. Major Clanger was foxtrotting with Mother Clanging, Small Clanger was riding on the Time Rotor, and Tiny Clanger had fallen asleep on the hat-stand. The TARDIS landed with a bump on the Small Blue Planet's surface, and the Doctor opened the doors. The Inhabitants trooped out, and the Doctor watched as they tugged the Vat out behind them, dancing and singing all the way.  
"At least that adventure's over, Doctor," Jo said, watching the Clangers fondly. They declined their invitation of a meal of Soup and Blue String Pudding, and departed hastily in the TARDIS.  
"Well, onwards to Metebelis 3, I think Jo," the Doctor said, activating various controls, and sweeping around the console reading various readings.  
"So probably the moon or something like that," Jo said.  
"What moon?" asked Tiny Clanger.

Jo stared. The Doctor Fainted.

* * *

And the Author faints in relief, having actually completed a story! 


End file.
